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ॐ भूर्भुव: स्व: तत्सवितुर्वरेण्यं ।
भर्गो देवस्य धीमहि, धीयो यो न: प्रचोदयात् ।।

I.
The wind blew sand into your nonchalant soul,
and your heart coughed. I entered the circle
at night, and I was consumed by fire. I did not
know of you then. I have fractured myself into
a thousand souls: but they are all whole, for I did
see you in my absence. Yet you? - you
were sailing, and your head was
full of water light.

II.
I was significant when your mother poured out water
in a copper pot from a balcony; water, which
caught and held the moon, and then spilled over
with a quiet radiance. You wondered whether
the moon lived in the ground. In those days,
you were convinced that the moon was a faded
apple, and there was a man, living in the fruitstem,
who liked to fish.

Dream-works, flower fairies, and a quiet dislike of oranges
have influenced you throughout the years. I am only
a passing fancy, a listener to your hasty apologies,
as I am for those who whisper their mantras twice
before going to sleep. Your mother encourages
belief in others, and you are devoted to her,
and through her, to me. Mothers are beautiful,
freeing your eyes from the blinding sky.

I sought devotion when I
was light and gold.

III.
Now you whisper your multiplication tables at night,
for they are significant. You are guilty time and time
again, so you call me quietly, but you have forgotten
my name. Your days are spent in dreams of waterscapes.
You are no painter, so you dip pinecones in paint. You
are a paper boat, now, running over the babbling brooks
who sing songs of 'why'.

You have forgotten me in your absence. Your soul is nonchalant,
and the wind has changed direction and is blowing sand into
my heart, which coughs, again, again.

The skylarks are humming
my song into the desert skies.

...
धीयो यो न: प्रचोदयात् ।
NaPoWriMo-17. This is about Savitr, a Hindu god referred to indirectly in the Gayatri mantra, which I've known since I was little. "In modern Hinduism, Savitr is not worshiped directly. However, in spite of the common ignorance, the sacred Gayatri mantra is devoted to this God and Savitr is indirectly venerated." (Wikipedia. All quotes are from there unless otherwise stated.) 

The Hindi text is the Gayatri mantra. My favourite definition of the mantra is this one, by Robert Fox: "O Effulgent Light of creation! Let the Sun of Truth illuminate my divinity. And meditation allow my thoughts to be inspired by Thee." (The literal translation is more, "may we attain that excellent glory of Savitr, the god: so may he stimulate our prayers.") This is probably my most personal piece (i.e. 'you' is me, and 'I' is Savitr) ever. There are not enough poems on Hindu gods around.

What do you think? Thank-you. :heart:

:bulletblue: The part about "I enter the circle ... consumed by fire" is directly translated from a Latin palindrome explaining the behaviour of moths, in girum imus nocte et consumimur igni ("we enter the circle at night and are consumed by fire").

:bulletblue: "He is golden-eyed, golden-handed and golden-tongued..." Savitr is considered to be gold, everywhere, and beautiful, too, hence the usage of "gold" here. "...Savitr is the god of the Sun at Sunrise and Sunset." Hence, "light" and other things.

:bulletblue: Sadly, Savitr is hardly remembered anymore - so, he is an old god. "... Not even a single mention to the deity is found in the huge corpus. There appears to be complete disappearance of the deity from contemporary Hindu pantheon."

Edited 30/09/2011.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-12-26
The Old God, Savitr by ~Vigilo The incorporation of Hindi within the text, makes this piece unique in how it is embraced as a mysterious prayer of introduction and closure. ( Suggested by Nichrysalis and Featured by inknalcohol )
:iconptdahood:
PTDaHood Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013   Writer
The imagery, the composition, the subtext, is all full of life -- everything breathes with an appreciation and intimacy for the topic. There is a timelessness and endlessness to the atmosphere; everything is so vividly visualized.

In short -- I really, really like it.

Also, I'm glad to have learned something new about the Hindu culture.
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Student Writer
First of all, I'm so very sorry about the belated reply. Real life got in the way, and I just can't apologise enough for the delay in replying. 

Secondly - thank you so much for the lovely words! It's really delightful to hear what you thought about the poem, and I'm so glad you enjoyed it. And I'm also glad that I could introduce something new to you, that's always a pleasure.

Thank you so much for the lovely comment - it's very much appreciated. :heart: 
Reply
:iconptdahood:
PTDaHood Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014   Writer
Hey, my reply is belated as well ;) Real life interrupts; no problem.

Learning new things always makes me feel warm and tingly inside, let's just say ;) And so does good writing.

You are very welcome. :hug:
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:iconmagdalenacaracol:
magdalenacaracol Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013
I really love it, it's beautiful.

Spirituality is at the heart of art, in my opinion. Faith and religion are important even if there are many problems within. I'd really like to see a DD one day featuring the Christian god in a good light, but it seems DA is allergic to that... :(
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Student Writer
First of all, I'm so sorry for the late reply! Real life got in the way, as usual. :noes:

I'm so glad that you enjoyed the poem! Thank you so much. I really do agree with you - spirituality and faith are fascinating and definitely topics to be considered at length for art. I'm sorry to hear about the DD thing, and I know how you feel. I've not seen a lot of religious poetry here, which is a shame. :( But if there isn't any, I guess we'll simply have to write it ourselves! 

And, of course, thank you so much for the lovely comment. :heart:
Reply
:iconabstradreams:
abstradreams Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Beautiful! Even though I am an atheist, I come from a Brahmin family, so I have known the Gayatri mantra since I was a kid and I loved how you incorporated it into your piece! Congrats on you well-deserved DD, darling!
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! I'm more of a Hindu agnostic myself, but my parents are Hindus, so I grew up with the mantra as well. I'm glad that you thought it was fitting, and that you enjoyed the poem! Thank you so much for your wonderful words, they really brightened my day. :heart:
Reply
:iconkyanitearcher:
KyaniteArcher Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful... :la:
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you - I'm so glad you thought so! :heart:
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:iconshadowedacolyte:
ShadowedAcolyte Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013
This is quite excellent, a mix of haunting and beautiful, of old and modern. The comments elucidate the text, but the text does stand alone. Thanks for sharing.
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Student Writer
First of all, I'm so sorry for the late reply! Real life got in the way, as usual, apologies. Secondly - thank you for the lovely words. I'm so glad that you enjoyed the poem and especially that it could stand without my comments on it, as that was something I always worry about. It really means a lot to me, so thank you so much for the wonderful words. :heart:
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:iconsegura2112:
segura2112 Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Student Digital Artist
But you are making sure He is not forgotten, beautiful piece. Thank You and congrats on the DD.
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
I'm so glad you thought so, and that you enjoyed the poem. Thank you for the lovely words and the beautiful comment! :heart:
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:iconnatmonkey:
Natmonkey Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Absolutely, utterly, unbelievably beautiful. :love:
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Student Writer
I'm so glad you thought so - thank you for the lovely comment! :heart:
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:iconsycamoresea:
SycamoreSea Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I think II is my favorite, the images in it somehow the most striking and entrancing, but this whole poem us utterly gorgeous.
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
I'm so glad you thought so, and that you enjoyed the poem - that means a lot. Thank you so much for your lovely words! :heart:
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:iconsycamoresea:
SycamoreSea Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
 But of course. <3
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:iconlaxmi-arts:
Laxmi-Arts Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You know the meaning of the "Mantra" ? Is not fun of your imagination.
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Student Writer
Hi. I didn't mean to offend. This poem was a way for me to explore my own religion (I'm a Hindu) - and it's definitely not me making fun of my faith, or anyone else's, through my imagination. I'm sorry if it offended you.
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:iconnichrysalis:
Nichrysalis Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yay! Congratulations ~Vigilo. Of all your work, this poem has stuck with me the longest, and I'm glad it was featured as it shows the potential of spiritual poetry, even from a religion most would not expect their English spiritual poetry from. For that, I agree with you, there aren't enough poems about Hindu gods around and I applaud you for taking up the mantel.
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Student Writer
I'm so sorry about the late reply. :noes: Exams and real life and stuff but regardless, I'm really sorry!

Firstly, thank you so much. Wow. I didn't thank you before properly, right? So, I'll do it now: thank you so much, you're absolutely brilliant. :tighthug:

Secondly, that's so lovely to hear. I'm so glad that you've enjoyed this poem as it's a personal favourite of mine and to have it appreciated by someone else as well is just all sorts of wonderful. And, yeah, I don't think many people expect Hinduism from English spiritual poetry either - but that's what the expat lifestyle does, I suppose. I really can't thank you enough, but here goes nothing: thank you so much, both for the suggestion and the lovely words. :heart:
Reply
:iconnichrysalis:
Nichrysalis Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:love: it's quite alright. :heart: I hope the exams went well.
Reply
:iconmeme2mimi:
Meme2Mimi Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Not sure what brought me to read this but the first stanza captivated me and kept me reading, beautiful work :) 
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
I'm so glad to hear that you enjoyed! Thank you so much for your wonderfully kind words. :heart:
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:iconlostgryphin:
LostGryphin Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Beautiful! Thanks for sharing. Congrats.
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
I'm so glad you enjoyed! Thank you for the lovely comment. :heart:
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:iconpuffugu:
puffugu Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Student General Artist
This is beautiful... Thanks for sharing Hindu culture to everyone! <33
As a Hindu, I've actually sadly never heard of Savitr, you are correct! I must research more.
Beautiful poem, Jai Sri Krishna! :pray:
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Student Writer
First of all, I'm so sorry for the late reply. Real life got in the way, as it tends to do. :noes:

I'm so glad you enjoyed the poem - thank you so much, that means a lot, especially from a fellow Hindu! And, to be fair, I hadn't heard of Savitr either before this. I was just looking up the Gayatri mantra the other day and found out about it by chance!

Thank you again for the lovely words - they're much appreciated. :heart:
Reply
:iconrobson666:
robson666 Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist
Congratulations to the well deserved Daily Deviation and Happy Holidays  Clap
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much for the lovely comment! I hope you have wonderful holidays too. :heart:
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:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the DD :dalove:
Have a nice day and Happy Holidays :santa:
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much for the lovely comment! I hope you have wonderful holidays too. :heart:
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:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure, thank you :happybounce:
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013
:clap: Many congratulations, dear, for yet another wonderful Daily D feature for this amazing poem!
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
I'm so glad you liked the poem - and thank you so much for the lovely comment! You're a star. :hug: :heart:
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013
awwww.... :heart: 042 - Free hug 
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013   General Artist
this is just so very beautiful, ilo bear 
your word choice allows the poem
strength in subtlety
and your mastery of imagery
is sublime :love:

this is amazing, you are amazing and
i only have one question for you:





can i get a hug? :eager:
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much, lovely, I'm so glad you enjoyed the poem and this comment is just amazing, I don't know how to reply to it properly. :love: Thank you for the wonderful words - I'm so glad you thought so!

As if you even need to ask! :tighthug: :heart:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2013   General Artist
all teh hugs in teh wold :tighthug: :heart: :heart: :heart:
Reply
:iconquinnypin:
quinnypin Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Student Writer
Simply gorgeous.
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Student Writer
I'm so glad you thought so - thank you for the lovely comment! :heart:
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:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2013
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by =DailyLitDeviations and has been selected as our "Pick of the Day". It is featured in a news article here: dailylitdeviations.deviantart.... and on our main page.

Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article. Keep writing and keep creating.
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Student Writer
Oh, wow - thank you so very much! :glomp: :heart:
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:iconthe-amber-footprint:
The-Amber-Footprint Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I remember the year after my thread ceremony where i was forced to get up at five-thirty and conduct a whole set of ceremonial prayers culminating with the repetition of this mantr twenty-one times. To be brutally honest, I think that contributed to my conversion to atheism. But I still love the mythology of any region (I mean region and not religion) and this piece is indeed worth great praise.
I wrote a similar piece inspired by legend of Tithonus as put to verse by Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809–92), Diametric Tithonus - [link] and another by the Ancient Greco-Roman Mythology How the Rainbow Came to Be - [link]. Neither one even comes close to the level of awe your piece inspires.
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Student Writer
Oh, wow, you actually went through the thread ceremony? I never did (or will), but my father did. I can understand how that could have lead to atheism, aye! I'm glad you enjoyed the poem regardless, that's lovely to hear.

I'll have to check out those works, they sound fascinating! And, no, I'm sure your works are lovely to read - but thank you so much for the lovely words! :heart:
Reply
:iconthe-amber-footprint:
The-Amber-Footprint Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes, it doesn't apply to women, you lucky lot.
I did, it was wonderful, and I apologise for rattling on in the previous comment.
Please do, I'd love to get some honest critique, which is very hard to come by on dA.
Reply
:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012
What a unique and interesting read! I loved it! ^^
Reply
:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Student Writer
I'm so glad you enjoyed! Thank you so much for the lovely words. :rose: :heart:
Reply
:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012
You're welcome! ^^
Reply
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