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April 17, 2011
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ॐ भूर्भुव: स्व: तत्सवितुर्वरेण्यं ।
भर्गो देवस्य धीमहि, धीयो यो न: प्रचोदयात् ।।

I.
The wind blew sand into your nonchalant soul,
and your heart coughed. I entered the circle
at night, and I was consumed by fire. I did not
know of you then. I have fractured myself into
a thousand souls: but they are all whole, for I did
see you in my absence. Yet you? - you
were sailing, and your head was
full of water light.

II.
I was significant when your mother poured out water
in a copper pot from a balcony; water, which
caught and held the moon, and then spilled over
with a quiet radiance. You wondered whether
the moon lived in the ground. In those days,
you were convinced that the moon was a faded
apple, and there was a man, living in the fruitstem,
who liked to fish.

Dream-works, flower fairies, and a quiet dislike of oranges
have influenced you throughout the years. I am only
a passing fancy, a listener to your hasty apologies,
as I am for those who whisper their mantras twice
before going to sleep. Your mother encourages
belief in others, and you are devoted to her,
and through her, to me. Mothers are beautiful,
freeing your eyes from the blinding sky.

I sought devotion when I
was light and gold.

III.
Now you whisper your multiplication tables at night,
for they are significant. You are guilty time and time
again, so you call me quietly, but you have forgotten
my name. Your days are spent in dreams of waterscapes.
You are no painter, so you dip pinecones in paint. You
are a paper boat, now, running over the babbling brooks
who sing songs of 'why'.

You have forgotten me in your absence. Your soul is nonchalant,
and the wind has changed direction and is blowing sand into
my heart, which coughs, again, again.

The skylarks are humming
my song into the desert skies.

...
धीयो यो न: प्रचोदयात् ।
NaPoWriMo-17. This is about Savitr, a Hindu god referred to indirectly in the Gayatri mantra, which I've known since I was little. "In modern Hinduism, Savitr is not worshiped directly. However, in spite of the common ignorance, the sacred Gayatri mantra is devoted to this God and Savitr is indirectly venerated." (Wikipedia. All quotes are from there unless otherwise stated.) 

The Hindi text is the Gayatri mantra. My favourite definition of the mantra is this one, by Robert Fox: "O Effulgent Light of creation! Let the Sun of Truth illuminate my divinity. And meditation allow my thoughts to be inspired by Thee." (The literal translation is more, "may we attain that excellent glory of Savitr, the god: so may he stimulate our prayers.") This is probably my most personal piece (i.e. 'you' is me, and 'I' is Savitr) ever. There are not enough poems on Hindu gods around.

What do you think? Thank-you. :heart:

:bulletblue: The part about "I enter the circle ... consumed by fire" is directly translated from a Latin palindrome explaining the behaviour of moths, in girum imus nocte et consumimur igni ("we enter the circle at night and are consumed by fire").

:bulletblue: "He is golden-eyed, golden-handed and golden-tongued..." Savitr is considered to be gold, everywhere, and beautiful, too, hence the usage of "gold" here. "...Savitr is the god of the Sun at Sunrise and Sunset." Hence, "light" and other things.

:bulletblue: Sadly, Savitr is hardly remembered anymore - so, he is an old god. "... Not even a single mention to the deity is found in the huge corpus. There appears to be complete disappearance of the deity from contemporary Hindu pantheon."

Edited 30/09/2011.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-12-26
The Old God, Savitr by ~Vigilo The incorporation of Hindi within the text, makes this piece unique in how it is embraced as a mysterious prayer of introduction and closure. ( Suggested by Nichrysalis and Featured by GrimFace242 )

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:iconptdahood:
PTDaHood Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013   Writer
The imagery, the composition, the subtext, is all full of life -- everything breathes with an appreciation and intimacy for the topic. There is a timelessness and endlessness to the atmosphere; everything is so vividly visualized.

In short -- I really, really like it.

Also, I'm glad to have learned something new about the Hindu culture.
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Student Writer
First of all, I'm so very sorry about the belated reply. Real life got in the way, and I just can't apologise enough for the delay in replying. 

Secondly - thank you so much for the lovely words! It's really delightful to hear what you thought about the poem, and I'm so glad you enjoyed it. And I'm also glad that I could introduce something new to you, that's always a pleasure.

Thank you so much for the lovely comment - it's very much appreciated. :heart: 
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:iconptdahood:
PTDaHood Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014   Writer
Hey, my reply is belated as well ;) Real life interrupts; no problem.

Learning new things always makes me feel warm and tingly inside, let's just say ;) And so does good writing.

You are very welcome. :hug:
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:iconmagdalenacaracol:
magdalenacaracol Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013
I really love it, it's beautiful.

Spirituality is at the heart of art, in my opinion. Faith and religion are important even if there are many problems within. I'd really like to see a DD one day featuring the Christian god in a good light, but it seems DA is allergic to that... :(
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Student Writer
First of all, I'm so sorry for the late reply! Real life got in the way, as usual. :noes:

I'm so glad that you enjoyed the poem! Thank you so much. I really do agree with you - spirituality and faith are fascinating and definitely topics to be considered at length for art. I'm sorry to hear about the DD thing, and I know how you feel. I've not seen a lot of religious poetry here, which is a shame. :( But if there isn't any, I guess we'll simply have to write it ourselves! 

And, of course, thank you so much for the lovely comment. :heart:
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:iconabstradreams:
abstradreams Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Beautiful! Even though I am an atheist, I come from a Brahmin family, so I have known the Gayatri mantra since I was a kid and I loved how you incorporated it into your piece! Congrats on you well-deserved DD, darling!
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! I'm more of a Hindu agnostic myself, but my parents are Hindus, so I grew up with the mantra as well. I'm glad that you thought it was fitting, and that you enjoyed the poem! Thank you so much for your wonderful words, they really brightened my day. :heart:
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:iconkyanitearcher:
KyaniteArcher Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful... :la:
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you - I'm so glad you thought so! :heart:
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:iconshadowedacolyte:
ShadowedAcolyte Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013
This is quite excellent, a mix of haunting and beautiful, of old and modern. The comments elucidate the text, but the text does stand alone. Thanks for sharing.
Reply
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