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Submitted on
July 29, 2011
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I feel War as he was:
soothing bloodlust with cunning
of the tricksters, with the calm
of a savage. His heart is windless,
stirring only when a bird shrieks,
when the pitiless sun burns,
harsher than flint.

He is treacherous, travelling
underground, but oh,
lovely to see his labyrinths,
to reach the crown of his fort
and gaze below.

These bricks have known
a bloody sun.

I know him as he is now:
rotting in the high walls of Time,
soundless, stale, secreted away
by piping bats, who echo night
with hands of wings.

These grasses have known
a history gone.

I see him, as he will be:
overrun by dry wilderness
and yellowing jungle, and alone,
a bridge gently folding into a moat
of moss and water.

He will strew stones on the floor,
like snow in summer, lull trees
to sleep in front of the doors,
and close the gates.

These walls have known
a silence of drums.

War sleeps
in his fortress of wrecked stone,
lying above the hill of the gods:
bloodied, but unbowed.
Hm. Tell me what you think? Thank-you. :heart:

:bulletblue: For the transliterations Photocopier Contest.
:bulletblue: The picture is of Daulatabad Fort, a fort in Maharashtra, India. It lies on the Hill of the Gods, or Devgiri. There are labyrinths, underground passages, and traps everywhere, which is why it is considered invincible by many.
:bulletblue: Some description is taken from the inside of the fort (e.g the bats). The bridge can be seen to the far right and the moat is below it; there is a pile of stones near the crumbling arch; the wilderness is everywhere.
:bulletblue: This photo was taken by me on July 25th, in Aurangabad, India.
:bulletblue: Full-view picture: [link]
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:iconvfreie:
VFreie Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013
Alright, I realise this comment is late to the party to say the very least; just wanted to tell you this accurately captures many of the feelings I've gotten from visiting old dismissed fortresses. And, a silence of drums - look at this oxymoron in the eyes and give it a kiss, for it is perfect.
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:iconavallynh:
Avallynh Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
beautiful. the personification is cleverly done; quite a creature of stealth you've made him.
your italics, i should mention, are very, very striking. they're my favourite bits.
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012  Student Writer
"creature of stealth" - oh, I like that phrase; thank you! And I am as ever glad - and bewildered, and flattered - that you enjoyed reading my poem; thank you very, very much for your always-lovely words and comments, they are really day-brightening and happifying and wonderful. :heart:
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:iconavallynh:
Avallynh Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
tis my pleasure, reading your work as much as giving you something to smile about. :heart:
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:iconkittykittyhunter:
kittykittyhunter Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2011   Writer
Eee. You linked the poem very well to the photo, and as always, your use of imagery was very, very pretty. I like how the narrator reflects on the scene almost episodically, thinking about the present as well as the future. Good luck! :D
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2011  Student Writer
Thank-you so much! I got super worried because of the comments on the contest's news article (they were all about the details and how the literature had to be, basically, a description-piece) and sort-of dumped description wherever I could, so I'm glad it doesn't seem like an imagery dump! I tried for a time thing there too, glad you noticed it! Thank-you again, m'dear. :hug:

:heart:
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:iconangelstained:
angelStained Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2011   Writer
Oh! I quite like how it's personification-yet-not-personification-- War's a very passive kind of person here, if he were one. It works quite well, I think-- making War too alive is something I already see often. And I like how you presented the detail as well-- great stuff.
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2011  Student Writer
War's almost dead - at least, the kind of war that's usually present in mythology and history (horses, elephants, deathly and/or bloody weapons of death and, er, blood, berserk men yelling everywhere, lots of charging and hasty retreating, kings, maybe some - invincible, 'course - monsters too) really seems to have died down. I can't imagine why. :XD:

Thank-you so much for the lovely words! :heart:
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:iconqueen-of-daemons:
Queen-of-Daemons Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Is it sad that when I saw I had "Two Deviations From Vigilo" I instantly started clicking? xD I haven't had a V Poem Fix for a while. :ohnoes:

I'm loving the imagery! It's giving me more ideas for Sekhmet's (Bunker) er, temple. xD I wish I had your skill with words. :)

I hope you are doing well now! Haven't been able to chat in a while. *wahs* Enjoy the rest of your vacation. :D
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:iconvigilo:
Vigilo Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2011  Student Writer
I haven't had a Hollibee Poem Fix for forever! D:
But no. It isn't sad. It's blushworthy! :dummy:

Aw, thank-you so much dear. And you don't need my skill with words 'cos you have a better skill with words! Which I love. I'm doing fine (will be able to post in MNI soon - after jet lag is over - I'm back in Shanghai!) and I hope you are too. :heart:

writemorepls.
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